


A New Beginning

by breathingdestiel



Series: tumblr challenges [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Drinking, Fights, Human Castiel, M/M, Post-Season/Series 13, Season/Series 14 Speculation, cas gives up his grace, mentioned Michael!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 20:31:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16144952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingdestiel/pseuds/breathingdestiel
Summary: After they admit their feelings and share a passionate night together, Dean is heartbroken to find that Cas has left in the middle of the night.





	A New Beginning

It is a few weeks after they expel Michael from Dean that he and Cas finally get their shit together and admit that they’re in love with each other. After the hushed confessions, they quickly jump into bed together and Dean can honestly say it is the best night of his life.

“And then the next morning, I find a note on the pillow that he had to leave,” Dean slurs as he describes the previous night. “He signed it with ‘Love, Cas,’ but he still fucking _left_. Again.”

The bartender sighs as she wipes the bar in front of Dean. “You’ve told me this three times already.”

“Sorry,” Dean says. He feels guilty for annoying her with his love life and he’s grateful that she hasn’t thrown him out five glasses of whiskey ago. As he watches her, he realizes that she reminds him of Ellen, which prompts him to knock down another drink in an attempt to erase those bitter memories.

“Look, honey, you just need to get over him. He sounds like garbage.”

Dean’s head whips up to glare at her. “No! He’s not garbage,” he protests loudly. “Cas is awesome. He’s so kind and he has a big heart. And he’s so smart and beautiful.”

The bartender snorts. “They all seem like that at first, but I’m just saying don’t be surprised if he lets you down again.”

“I just want him to stay with me,” he admits as he rests his head on his folded hands. “It’s probably my fault… Maybe I haven’t made it clear enough. He still doesn’t get human communication sometimes.”

“You make it sound like he’s an alien or something.”

“He’s an angel. A real angel with wings. But he doesn’t have a harp,” he chuckles when he remembers Cas’s indignant glare anytime Dean mentioned a harp.

“Okay, big boy,” she huffs out a laugh. “I think you had enough. Is there someone I can call to pick you up?”

Not really in the mood for other people, he waves off her offer. “Nah, I’ll sleep in my car,” he says as he gets, gripping the bar tightly as he steadies his wobbly legs. Besides, Sam has left to help Donna with a case and Cas is who knows where, so it’s just him. All alone… Just like when Michael was riding his ass. Hell, Dean thinks as he walks toward the Impala, maybe Michael never left and this is just his way of torturing him. Dean wouldn’t put it past him.

After a few embarrassing moments of fumbling with the car door, Dean finally finds himself curled in the backseat. At least he’ll always have Baby.

* * *

The sound of the phone wakes him up and he forces his eyes open. Ignoring the throbbing headache, he fishes the phone out of his pocket and is surprised to see Cas’s name on the caller ID.

“Cas?” He asks timidly, relieved to know Cas isn’t lying dead in a ditch somewhere, but still pissed off that he has left in the first place.

“Hello, Dean,” Cas says after a beat and Dean can sense his apprehension.

“Where the hell are you?” He barks out, flinching at the raw emotion in his voice.

Cas is quiet for a while before he whispers, “The sandbox.”

“The sandbox? You went to Heaven?” Dean rubs the side of his head. This conversation isn’t helping his headache. “What the hell for did you go to Heaven now? And why didn’t you tell me, Cas? You just freaking left!”

“I know, Dean, and I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything and hopefully you’ll understand. But could you please come and get me first. My car won’t start.”

Dean lets out a bitter laugh. “Of-freaking-course. Would you even bother to let me know you’re alive if it weren’t for your shitty car?”

“I wanted…” Cas trails off, “It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry I hurt you, but it will make sense later, just please come and get me.” There’s a desperation in Cas’s voice, paralleling the one Dean heard when he was still possessed by Michael, the one begging him to come back. Hearing it again, makes his anger evaporate.

“Okay, Cas,” he says, “I’ll come as soon as I can.”

* * *

Cas is sitting on a park bench when Dean finally arrives. He’s wrapped in his coat and as Dean walks closer he notices that Cas is shivering.

“Cas?”

At the sound of his name, Cas looks up and is visibly relieved to see Dean. “Dean. You came.”

“Of course I did. I meant what I said the other night. I love you and I’ll be there for you through good _and_ bad. You sounded like you needed me and I wasn’t going to ignore because I’m angry… Which I still am, by the way,” he points a finger at Cas, but there’s no heat behind his words.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas smiles slightly and Dean’s heartbeat quickens at the sight of it even in this situation. “I’m going to tell you everything, but could we go to the car please? I’m a bit cold?”

Dean frowns, “I thought angels didn’t get cold?”

Cas looks down at the ground. “Car, please?”

“Yeah, okay.”

They walk to the Impala in silence, Dean throwing worried glances at Cas. The angels must have done something to him and it’s making Dean’s blood boil with rage.

Once they are in the car, Dean turns the heating on, for which Cas sends him a grateful glance.

“First of all,” Cas begins, “I’m really sorry I just left, but I think you would have tried to stop me if I told you what I wanted to do.”

Dean gives him a ‘no-shit-Sherlock’ look, but doesn’t interrupt him.

Staring out the window, Cas continues. “As you know, angels had a problem of powering Heaven since there was so few of them left. I had an idea how to fix that, but it required a certain sacrifice. One I wasn’t ready to make.” He finally meets Dean’s eyes and says, “Until the other night. I loved you for so long, Dean and now that I know you love me too, I want to be with you for as long as I can. I know it might be unrealistic considering our lifestyle, but I want to grow old with you.”

“What?”

“I made a deal with angels,” Cas says. “I gave them my grace to use as a fuel of sorts. In exchange, they promised to stay away from Earth and leave us be. I’m human, Dean.”

Dean blinks slowly, processing Cas’s words. “Cas, you idiot,” he whispers and regrets it immediately because Cas’s face falls.

“After everything you said, I thought you wouldn’t mind it, but you don’t want me anymore.”

Dean shakes his head, and cups Cas’s hands between his. “Cas, I don’t care if you’re an angel or human or anything else, but I can’t believe you’d make a sacrifice like that just for me.”

Cas purses his lips. “It’s not _just_ for you, though you were a big part of it. I am finally at peace with my brothers and sisters. I feel like I’ve redeemed myself.”

Dean stares at Cas, still not able to fully understand what made Cas come to this decision. Especially… “But are you sure you want to be human? The last time-”

“The last time, I was fine with it until you threw me out,” Cas tells him softly.

Even though there’s no trace of resentment in Cas’s voice, Dean still flinches at the reminder. “It won’t be like that ever again,” he promises. He won’t let Cas go ever again.

“I know, Dean,” Cas smiles as he brings a hand to Dean’s cheek. “Let’s think of this as a new beginning. And I hope this time you’ll get to teach me about the many human things I didn’t get the chance to learn before.”

“You bet I will.” Dean turns his head to the side and presses a kiss to Cas’s palm. “And I’ll do anything I can to make you happy ‘cause you deserve it.”

“You deserve it too, Dean,” Cas says as he leans in. “I know I hurt you when I left… I could feel your longing when you woke up,” he whispers, his voice tinged with shame, “but I promise that was the last time. From now on, everything I do I want to do by your side.”

Unable to control himself, Dean grins. Cas wants to stay with him. Finally.

“That’s all I want, Cas,” he admits. “I want you by my side.”

“Good,” Cas smiles and kisses him. And what can Dean do other than kiss him back?

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr.](http://breathingdestiel.tumblr.com/)


End file.
